Sunday, December 18, 2011

12.18.2011 Season's Greetings!

12.18.2011

Recalling this year's challenges reminds me that many of my gifts, my blessings, come in plain brown wrapping. So I give thanks that salvation was sent to us 2,011 years ago, embodied in human frailty. I look for the lesson, the perspective to see that every soul intersects my life for a reason, for my benefit. I call Andy* as my mentor in that capacity. 
*Name changed to preserve privacy.

Andy was an experienced tradesman, could run any crew efficiently, adapt to constantly changing priorities, a great teacher. Despite this, he had his flaws. Patience was not his strong point. For awhile, I thought he simply didn't want a woman on his job. When I saw him browbeat another of the crew, I realized he simply didn't like anybody. So demoralizing was this daily tirade that I pulled over each morning halfway to work and threw up, for the first 6 months. My dentist thought I needed a bite guard, that I was clenching my teeth while sleeping. Andy drove off the entire crew one by one, including his own brother, over the course of a couple years.

As I really, really needed that job, I wondered what possible lesson I could extract from this punishment and what Andy's purpose might be in my life. I prayed for an answer and one day I recognized it: Andy's gift to me was callouses, a toughening-up. And these callouses came in handy when I dealt with unscrupulous people in my industry. No classroom prepared me better for the hockey game rules common in that field, or indeed, the world. 

To wrap this gift, this blessing, in tissue would be to scoff at the abuse. So I share my epiphany regarding Andy. One morning much like all the others, he was evaluating my performance, critiquing my technique, and generally giving voice to his opinion, all at full volume and within an inch of my nose. And suddenly it struck me: He hasn't hit me and he hasn't fired me. Either he can't or he won't. With that realization, the yelling seemed to fade away, and my lips turned up just slightly. Almost imperceptible, but he caught it. "And just what the H*** are you grinning at?!" he demanded. I just shook my head to indicate nothing in particular. He resumed his assessment, but the volume was down and his heart wasn't in it. He continued on in his accustomed manner for the rest of my tenure there, but I graduated from boot camp to PFC, in Andy's view. 

Merry Christmas, Andy, and may you appreciate the gifts and blessings in your own life, as you have taught me to treasure mine. And may this Season of Blessings bring all of you gifts wrapped sometimes in silk, and sometimes in burlap.

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